Imagine this:
Instead of waiting in her tower, Rapunzel slices off her long, golden hair with a carving knife, and then uses it to climb down to freedom.
Just as she’s about to take the poison apple, Snow White sees the familiar wicked glow in the old lady’s eyes, and slashes the evil queen’s throat with a pair of sewing scissors.
Cinderella refuses everything but the glass slippers from her fairy godmother, crushes her stepmother’s windpipe under her heel, and the Prince falls madly in love with the mysterious girl who dons rags and blood-stained slippers.

Imagine this:
Persephone goes adventuring with weapons hidden under her dress.
Persephone climbs into the gaping chasm.
Or, Persephone uses her hands to carve a hole down to hell.
In none of these versions is Persephone’s body violated unless she asks Hades to hold her down with his horse-whips.
Not once does she hold out on eating the pomegranate, instead biting into it eagerly and relishing the juice running down her chin, staining it red.
In some of the stories, Hades never appears and Persephone rules the underworld with a crown of her own making.
In all of them, it is widely known that the name Persephone means Bringer of Destruction.

Imagine this:
Red Riding Hood marches from her grandmother’s house with a bloody wolf pelt.
Medusa rights the wrongs that have been done to her.
Eurydice breaks every muscle in her arms climbing out of the land of the dead.

Imagine this:
Girls are allowed to think dark thoughts, and be dark things.

Imagine this:
Instead of the dragon, it’s the princess with claws and fiery breath
who smashes her way from the confines of her castle
and swallows men whole.

'Reinventing Rescuing,' theappleppielifestyle. (via theappleppielifestyle)

(via thedoctorsherlockedmyheart)

my teacher showed us this in class to teach us about phoneme substitution and then laughed for 25 minutes
Man: Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Den I come one lasta time.
Lady: You foul-mouthed swine! In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public.
Man: Hey, coola down lady. Who talkin abouta sexa? I’ma justa tellun my frienda how to spella Mississippi.

lauzor:

Here’s Anna!

(via mrtimh)

theravennest:

rizaoftheowls:

hugh-danced-the-dancy:

leonardodiretardo:

i hate it when adults assume i’m on the internet all the time by choice. if i had enough money to travel around and etc, do you think i would be withering away my youth behind a computer screen you useless paperclip.

I dont think i have ever heard the term useless paperclip used as an insult before.

clearly you never tried to write a word document in the 90s

image

(via thechocolatebrigade)

mad-hattress:

ghdos:

whovian-all-over:

4gifs:

Mattress Jousting

FLIPPING SHIT I WANT TO DO THIS SO BAD

I swear white people will come up the most random games to play and it’ll look fun as fuck.

Are we going to ignore how graceful his front flip was?

(Source: 4gifs, via imnotmeanimathousandyearsold)

dockterfrankensteez:

thisisbluelanguage:

veggielezzyfemmie:

The regular girl couldn’t make it, so I’m here.

miss claudette has a special place in my heart. 

miss claudette over everything 

I can’t wait for the second season to start!!

(Source: quatres, via shiny-kyogre)

la-ruiva:

Woods comma Elle, ladies and gents

(Source: christinahendricks, via sleeping-mylife-away)

icyaj:

the fuck is nature

(Source: myloveismusic13, via the-undesirable)

tehnakki:

nerdiosity:

superwolfavengewholock:

It’s a fucking Nick Furry cosplay cat.

I tried to scroll past it.

hahahahah. yes.

(via babycastle09)

doctor-donna-detective:

calzonebetrayal:

x

This speaks to me.

I thought the first one was like a shower and I was like please give me that shower

(Source: mystery-of-the-cake-topper, via weeping-angel-2spooky)

train-deer:

alphatimelinebetakid:

umblaireon:

bryanq117:

m0shcore:

sirshon:

madstick:

thearcticmuser:

IT’S BACK OH MY GOD

I’M FUCKING CRYING

THE FUCKING TAMBOURINE ONE THOUGH

We should make a band

THIS IA AMAZING

Guys look it’s The Strokes

I bet their music is orgasmic 

(Source: nocoffeeplease, via thelokigameswiththewinchesters)